I have a problem.

So, the other day I opened my Teg's hood to check the power steering levels (I suspect a leak) but before I can move my hand to the cap, I notice a bunch of web and a-
a female Black Widow the size of a quarter chilling on my radiator, roughly six inches from where I was sticking my hands just seconds ago. I shut the hood and I haven't opened it since because I'm too scared. Help.

Blow the car up

Also, I found a picture I took of it on my ipod.

If it really is a Black Widow I recommend these steps:
1) Soak rag in alcohol
2) Put tip of rag in gas tank
3) Set fire to rag
4) ????
5) Profit

Uhhh, I went out and got the hood open and saw it chilling on my power steering tank, so I decided to try starting the car. Turns out the battery is dead, so the engine just made a fell clunk. The spider fell through somewhere and I haven't seen it since.

Run. Run as far away as possible.

Upon doing some googling, i found out some useful info:
Black Widow spiders are usually very shy and passive towards humans. As long as it isn't threatened, you're safe.

Hiring an exterminator will be your best bet, and safer too. They should be able to deal with it, unless it has already vacated your car. Still, far better than looking around yourself and picking up a bite from it.

@Obelisk: Most black widow bites are the result of accidentally disturbing them, and it is ALWAYS best to deal with their presence immediately

I hatteee spiders. Might want to just burn your whole house down to be safe, don't want any of those black widows escape lol

Burn your entire neighborhood down just to be safe.

And... call the military.

Drop a nuke.

^this

^years from now the nuclear fallout will cause that same spider to grow 3 stories tall 

Good side is fallout wouldve most likely killed the remaining human population, including myself, by then

^Although for you, it'd take a lot of killing.

I think i wouldve shit myself if i saw a spider that close to me